Am I Really Being Called to MInistry?

I asked myself this question many times for nearly a decade.

I had gone on one short-term mission trip when I was 17. I look back on that summer trip as the summer I came alive. Something clicked inside me. I began to take my faith more seriously when I got home and jumped at the opportunity to go on a second mission trip through my church a couple of years later. Again, I felt a stir inside of me that I couldn’t explain or define. It wasn't until the following year, when I joined a 10-month-long discipleship school, that I began to understand that the stirring I had been feeling for three years was a call to ministry. 

This both excited and terrified me. 

I never had a movie moment call to ministry. You know what I’m talking about. In the movies, you have a character who has been given a glimpse of what their destiny holds. Then, through some wandering and maybe even some running away, they finally come to grips with the fact that they have a calling on their life. The room darkens, a light shines from above, illuminating only them, and a voice speaks from the sky, “This is what you are to do, so go do it.” Everything after that is changed, and they are on fire for what they are called to.

Most of us likely will not experience a call to ministry in that way. Some might feel God press upon their heart during a worship event or a conference. Some might have people speak words of encouragement that give them the gumption they need to pursue that thing. There are many ways that God will call people into ministry. And there are many types of ministry out there. I’ll be sharing my personal story and how God called me (and continued to call me) into ministry, and hopefully, at the end, you’ll have a good idea of how to ask yourself the question, Am I really being called to ministry?

I left that discipleship school a little deflated, if I’m being honest. It was eye-opening and life-changing, and I definitely felt God calling me to ministry. But what kind of ministry? And where? I went back home and packed up all my stuff to move to my grandparents' house in New York. I intended to use it as a sort of base camp, a place to land after going on trips and stay while trying to figure out where I was supposed to go. 

I looked into short-term mission assignments and long-term ones. I went on two more mission trips during that time of searching and wondering. But I soon felt lost. I didn’t know what to do with the stirring in my heart, and I was also a little afraid that God would send me to someplace I didn’t want to go for a really long time. I wasn’t ready to surrender in that way. So I stopped. For three years, I stopped searching for mission opportunities. I stopped going on mission trips. I focused on my walk with God, growing closer to Him, working hard, and moving up the ladder at the non-profit I was working for. By Spring of 2020, I had “arrived”. 

I had a full-time job. I was the boss. I had benefits and a retirement fund. And I was in my late twenties. That’s the goal, right? I had long since hushed any voice that even whispered ministry. I didn’t want that anymore…or so I thought.

That spring, I was doing a book study with some friends, and one of the weeks, our topic was dreams for our lives. For the first time in years, I finally acknowledged to myself and others that I had felt called to ministry. Specifically, I thought about Reign Ministries, the organization that I had gone on my first mission trip with, and a handful of others since. But I felt unqualified to pursue that. I lacked confidence and couldn’t see my own self-worth. To me, working for Reign Ministries felt like a ‘top-shelf’ dream. As a 5 ft person, it’s not hard to imagine something shiny and cool on the top shelf, way out of my reach.

It was nice to acknowledge the dream again, but I left it sitting up there on that top shelf and went about my life. That summer, I had some time off work, and I spent a couple of weeks going through the book “Dream Big” by Bob Goff. It’s all about, you guessed it, dreaming big dreams for your life. Again, I was reminded of that top-shelf dream, that call to ministry, the desire to work for Reign. It felt like it had come down a couple of shelves by this time. Maybe if I stood on my tiptoes, I could reach it? I told myself I’d pursue it in a year or so because I still didn’t think I was ready.

And then the day happened. The movie moment I told you about earlier? That happened. 

The pandemic was still an issue all around the country by the end of the summer of 2020, and after a meeting with my boss and co-workers, we were told some not great news about our jobs. A lot of things were changing. The meeting ended, and as my co-workers discussed what they were going to do, I felt deep in my heart God whisper to me. “Hey, all the things you’ve been thinking about and dreaming of this year? Now. The time is now.” Time felt like it had stopped, and in a flurry, I gave my notice to my boss. A few weeks later, once I had ended my time there, I went to God with hands open and said, “Okay, I’m ready to jump into ministry. What should I do? Is it Reign? Is it someplace else?” 

Silence.

That waiting lasted a couple of years before I felt like God opened the door and gave me the green light to reach out to Reign. 

So, how can you discern if you are really being called to ministry? 

Take from my story these four questions to ask yourself:

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1. Am I passionate about ministry?

When I went on my first mission trip (and every trip since), I felt something stirring alive within me. I love the thrill of traveling to a new country, meeting new people, and loving on kids all over the world. Now that I’m in full-time ministry, that love has remained and shifted slightly. I love pouring into our students, discipling them, and watching them grow in their faith over the course of a summer. 

2. Do I see a future in a ministry role?

Before I felt specifically called to join Reign Ministries, I could see myself serving in multiple kinds of ministry. I loved playing with the street kids in Nepal or working at a VBS in Ireland. On all my trips, I always gravitated to kids. Now that I’m older, my roles on teams have changed, and I’ve stepped into leadership positions. I still dream about what it could look like a year from now or even ten years from now. I am open to how God wants to use me, and in that openness, I am able to dream and get excited for all the possibilities that could unfold.

3. Is this what God wants me to do?

I spent years asking God, sometimes begging Him for discernment in regard to joining a ministry. Whether it was overseas missions or a stateside ministry, I asked for help figuring it out. And I asked many times for clarification. That season was tough in some ways. I was still learning how to hear God’s voice and really seek Him. It felt like I spent many years asking God only to be met with silence. Now I know that it wasn’t silence, it was a season of preparation. I was growing in more ways than I could see at the time. The key to waiting is persistence. To keep showing up in daily quiet time, worship, and prayer. Even if there is no answer, ask again. Don’t stop asking. Don’t stop seeking. 

4. Am I willing to go?

This may be the scariest yet most important question. If God were to call you into ministry, would you say yes? It took me years to be able to say yes. I wanted to go; it sounded fun and exciting, but I couldn’t surrender. What about you? Would you be willing to quit your job tomorrow? Would you be willing to sell most of your stuff to move across the country or across the world? Would you be able to move farther away from family instead of closer? Would you be willing to relocate and start life and a community from scratch? 

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These things are hard things to say yes to. And it might be the reason you can’t say yes yet, just like it was for me. But take heart! Many times I prayed prayers just like that of the father in Mark 9:23-25 when he says, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief.” 

Maybe you need to pray something similar. “Lord, I feel called and excited about ministry, but I’m afraid. Lord, I want to go. Help me to surrender to Your will for my life.”

Pray it as many times as it takes. There may still come a movie moment where God calls your bluff, so to speak, and you will finally have to make the choice—to go or stay. But I believe that if you are taking the time to pray and ask God for help, that in the moment when you have to make a decision, God will give you the strength to say yes and the courage to stay on the path once you start.